A Brief Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse – The Weapon

Hungry zombie. Nasty business.
Hungry zombie. Nasty business.

In the first post of this series I discussed the ever-important backpack and what to cram in there. But now that we are well-prepared for general survival, I will focus on how to deal with the zombies more directly.

For this we will need to choose a weapon.*dun dun duuun*

If you live in a country where assault rifles and rocket launchers are kinda hard, not to mention illegal, to come by, here are some valid options:

1. An Axe. This trusty and multifunctional weapon has the power to both crush zombie skulls and chop wood- an axe is always a good choice for the apocalypse. They are also easy and legal to come by most everywhere and not TOO heavy to carry around. Though it can be thrown, the axe is obviously a melee weapon requiring some muscle to wield effectively.

If Emma Watson does it, it's worth doing.
If Emma Watson does it, it’s worth doing.

2. A Machete. Commonplace in most zombie fiction, this seriously oversized cutlery offers a lightweight and deadly defense versus the undead. On the downside, it can be difficult to get to the destroy-the-brain-part of combat with a machete. Unless you stab the zombie through they eye socket or chop the head clean off, it can probably keep coming at you after taking damage.

3. The Bow and Arrow. Oh, the idea of going all Katniss at the zombie horde with bow and arrow…
Realistically, a bow and arrow-strategy COULD work but unless you put some practise in it is harder to aim at a moving target than one might think. And you might find yourselves out of useable arrows (yup, the arrowheads can break off if  you hit a hard surface like for example bone) with no means or skills to make new ammo. The ability to fight rotting, hungry corpses from a distance is highly appealing though and might make the bow and arrow worth a shot (pun very much intended. sorry).

A comic I made a year ago or so when I was Katniss for Halloween. Don't bring real weapons out of the house until the zombies actually arrive, kk?
A comic I made about my Halloween-fail as Katniss from the Hunger Games. The lesson is to keep the weapons inside until the zombies are actually here.

4. A Sword. A sword, or maybe a katana or a mace, can likely be used to good result with nothing but sheer panic and force behind them. Historical  weapons tend to be a bit on the heavy side and less than optimal for running with, but I think they are a functional and fancy alternative that also will look great as part of your interior design until shit hits the fan.

What can I say. It's not only your wall that looks better with a sword attached.
Can I be him please?

5. A baseball racket. A favourite of zombie movies featuring everyday people grabbing what they have in their sheds (Shaun of the Dead <3). But, it requires a lot of force to put a zombie down for good with and offers no other utility. I don’t recommend this as your choice of defense for the apocalypse, but if you (despite this guide and general paranoia) are caught of guard and have this as your only option, a baseball racket could be useful.

Now, brace yourselves for my surprise alternative and personal choice of weapon:

The Slingshot!

Not this version.

And no, not that ^ version. albeit it’s awesome. I am talking about a hunter’s slingshot. I had no idea this existed a month ago, but man. Powerful, light-weight, ranged and with the possibility of using rocks as ammo once you run out of bullets it seems almost too good to be true. It is the perfect, legal, apocalypse weapon for a person of my not-that-imposing physical build.

What do you think is a good weapon against the zombies? (Preferably that you can legally get and keep before martial law occurs so you are forearmed huehue oh the puns just keep coming today i sincerely apologize.)

Packed, prepared- what now?
Packed, prepared- what now?

In my third and last installment of this series I will discuss the different strategies to cope with the zombie apocalypse, don’t miss it!


3 thoughts on “A Brief Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse – The Weapon

  1. Spear! You wanna keep those zombies well away from you, and considering it’s the most pierce-y of piercing weapons you’ll have no issue getting to that rotten brain.
    Then have a knife on the side for when they do come too close and ones failure to keep them at bay doesn’t make you want to kill yourself. . . for which the knife could also be used.

    Oh! And of course a crossbow. Because Danny do what Daryl does.

    Liked by 1 person

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